


A Night Like This

by charitysvanity



Category: Charity Vanessa, Emmerdale, charity dingle - Fandom, vanity - Fandom
Genre: Charity Dingle - Freeform, F/F, Fluff, I love yous, Vanessa Woodfield - Freeform, lil bit of angst, lotta bit of angst, spoiler-based, they're coming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-11
Updated: 2018-09-11
Packaged: 2019-07-11 06:12:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15966350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charitysvanity/pseuds/charitysvanity
Summary: This is my take on what could potentially happen in regard to the *SPOILER!* that Charity hits Zak's dog Monty with her car and has to go to Vanessa for help after she's pushed her away as result of the trial aftermath. I LOVE YOUS ARE COMING AT THE END OF THE MONTH !!! SO... why not write a fic on it?





	A Night Like This

**Author's Note:**

> If you really want to get into the mood of this fic — listen to Take Me Home by Jess Glynn... enjoy <3

“Charity.” Chas thundered as she slammed a half-filled glass down on the surface before the sullen-looking blonde barmaid. She eyed her cousin, noticing the distinct smell of whiskey for the fifth day running. Alas, she knew Charity, and she knew she wouldn’t be reasoned with nor comforted when she was _like this_. It had been two weeks since the trial, since she last spoke to her _ex_ -girlfriend, since her whole world came crashing down.

Chas knew Charity, she knew how she worked, and not only that, but she knew how it felt to feel so hopeless; no aim in the form of a light at the end of the tunnel. She knew the coping mechanisms that manifested as result of such emptiness. Charity would do what Charity knew she could do best - _push people away_.

" _Mm_." Charity groaned, braving to look up at her peering cousin. She had a distinct look on her face, an expression of concern, somewhat overwhelmed. She couldn't bear to be the epitome of what people deem to be as someone that they need to take pity on. She was no victim, and certainly didn't appreciate the pity of others. Wallowing in self-pity had always been more Charity's style, as many had told her throughout her life. So, she rolled her eyes and took another swig from the glass she was clutching, paying no attention to the glass of water Chas had not-so-subtly encouraged her to exchange her current beverage for.

"I'm getting fed up of you slumping over this bar and making snarky remarks at the punters. Whilst you're drinking our pub dry, you're losing us business. Fix up or at least go away Charity. I've tried my best." Chas snapped, changing her tone as result of disparity. There was only so much persuasion she could attempt before she came to the end of her tether. She frowned at the figure of sadness in front of her. This wasn't the Charity she knew.

Charity, again, rolled her eyes. She looked up towards the brunette and kept her eyes focused (as well as she could) on her before pressing her hands against the bar before her, pushing her upper body up and taking an uneven stance with both feet pushed firmly against the floor, the closest she had felt to grounded for the past couple of weeks. She lowered her sights, trying her best to stand still whilst the room span around her and the thoughts that intoxicated her mind continued to whir.

"Fine." Charity stated, turning on her heel and slowly making her way into the back of the Woolpack. She looked at her phone, the time reading 20 past 7 in the evening. She was just as intoxicated tonight as she had been for the past week, everything merged into one when Charity had alcohol rushing through her veins, and that was _exactly_ what she craved. No time to think, to analyse, to pick every little thought that clouded her mind apart until there was nothing left but a mere skeleton of a put-together mind that once posed there. Though, she wasn’t so sure she knew what it was to ever feel whole. Not entirely, anyway.

First, she grabbed the keys dangling in the keyhole of the back door, then her black coat from the hook and slipped her arms through the slender gaps, trying her best to focus her eyes enough to do the buttons up, like most things, Charity underestimated the impact the alcohol had on her as she made a final attempt to loop the buttons through the holes, failing again. She shrugged the coat from covering her and let it fall to the floor, creating a black puddle behind her before opening the back door and slamming it shut as she moved through, into the cold, autumnal evening behold.

The navy-blue shirt covering her upper-body made no real attempt to keep her warm, nor dry from the torrential rain that so very fittingly poured; but Charity didn't care. She didn't need warmth, she didn't need care, and she certainly didn't need people being attentive to her - least of all _herself_.

As she approached Paddy's white van parked outside of the pub, chills reigned over her whilst she reached for the handle and let herself inside the vehicle. She inserted the key into the ignition and switched the lights on, put the van into gear and departed from the stones and onto the road. She could barely make out the shapes before her, mistaking a tree for a person and swerving onto the pavement to avoid causing more destruction before stalling as her front wheels hit the curb for the 3rd time. Alas, she didn't care. She wanted to drive, and drive, and _drive_. Away from here, away from everyone, away from the memories that haunted her as she tried to drown them with the whiskey that burned her throat, keeping her from saying the things she wished she could have done when she had the chance.

Passing Tug Ghyll, she felt her chest tighten, she couldn't resist drawing her eyes to the light that dimly lit the passage defined by the white hatched door at the top of it.

She let her eyes wander as they followed the light, the van slowly moving past it but Charity failing to let it go. She couldn't help but wonder what could have been, what would have happened if she broke the habit of a lifetime and didn't push Vanessa to a point of no return, if she'd been taught to know any different. The thoughts spiralled in her mind, creating a net and capturing her, _should_ have, _could_ have, _would_ have..and repeat, and then- the car stopped with a bang. Charity was flung back to earth. " _Shit_." She hissed, clumsily opening the door and making her way to the front of the van where a small figure lay still, a yard or so away from the front left wheel. She crouched down to check the animal, noticing it was a dog, she gasped, the weight of her actions pulling her to the ground and leaving her feeling helpless. She felt her breath hitch as she shook her head slowly, she still couldn't see straight, let alone think with any direction. The rain continued to pour and cover her with a draping sense of wilderness, she felt alone in this very moment, something about the dead of the streets and the rainfall made her realise... she was in it alone. _Again_. As she always had been, and that was entirely her doing. She looked to her left, towards the light that had distracted her initially and sighed. Charity's self-sufficiency came in abundance, or at least that's what she liked to believe, thus, make everyone else believe as result. However, she couldn't handle this situation alone. The one person that could help her, could solve the problem for her and would still be there to hold her at the end of it, she was within the light. She became so painfully aware of her reality. She rose from the crouched position she was in, focusing her eyes on Tug Ghyll, unsure as to whether she would be able to make it to the door without sabotage by this point, leaving a trail of destruction wherever she went. What she did best.

She pulled her phone from her back pocket, scrolling through her contacts until she got to ' _Ness_ '. A lump appeared in her throat as she withheld from pressing dial for a few seconds, distracted by the contact image she had set for her ex-girlfriend. It was a picture of her, captured in her summer glory, sat in a yellow dress on the silky Irish beach they visited together last month. Charity felt her eyes become cloudy, and it was difficult to tell whether this be the alcohol or the emotion taking over her senses this time. Vanessa was her safe place, her virtue. She was consistent, she was honest and she was the closest thing Charity had ever been able to call _home_. She let her thumb hover over the dial button, hesitantly skimming it before allowing herself to call her. The instant regret filled her as it rang, once, twice... seven times. No answer. She locked her phone and stuffed it in her rear pocket, a rush of frustration rushing over her. She ran her fingers through the parting in her hair, not nearly as graceful as when Vanessa would have her head rested on her lap whilst her soft touch sent Charity to sleep. Those nights were always the nights she slept easiest, wrapped in the sweet scent of her favourite place. Charity had always wondered how Vanessa always managed to radiate the warmth she did, especially on _nights like this._

She wished more than anything she was there right now. With her. In her safe space. She wished she was listening to one of Vanessa's many anecdotes of the day, detailing how Johnny's pre-school teacher had asked the class for empty cereal boxes to build a box dinosaur, but Sharon from the baby room had brought in some ever so inappropriate boxes from her Ann Summer's party at the weekend. She wished she was sat beneath Vanessa’s grandmother’s crotchet blanket, flashing her best puppy dog eyes at her so she’d make them both a hot chocolate. It had become so engrained in their routine that Vanessa knew _the look_ better than the palm of her hand. She knew what to do, she always knew what to do.

Charity was dizzy with the emotion of moment and let her adrenaline bring her to feet and urged her to walk towards Tug Ghyll. The rain came pouring down, harder than before, painting a not-so-perfect picture with the smudged mascara under her eyes, making its way to the bottom of her cheeks. She looked the picture of sheer disparity, one foot before the other, building the courage to knock on the door before her. Charity tried to tell herself that she had no reason to feel this way, that Vanessa wouldn't take her by surprise and solve her problems as one final ode to the Charity Dingle fable, the fairy-tale love story that never got its happy ending. She told herself she shouldn't be looking to Vanessa to save her skin this time, that she couldn't possibly expect her to do anything for her. Alas, something deep within her fought for her to give herself a chance, just this once. And with this, her pent-up emotion manifested itself in a weak knock against the wooden panels shielding Vanessa from the war zone that was stood on the other side, swallowed up by not only the damp clothes clinging to her skin, but the incessant feeling of regret.

She heard a quiet jingle of keys, a familiar sound, so subtle yet so sweet. The door opened slowly, leaving just enough room for Vanessa to peer around the side of it and see who was knocking. She gasped, her eyes wide as she was met with Charity's vulnerability. " _Charity_." She said, softly, care gracing her expression. "Ness… _Vanessa_ I, I ran over a dog, it's raining, I'm drunk I-" Charity began, rambling, almost as if she'd been told she had ten final seconds to spend in Vanessa's presence, tripping over the words that fell from her mouth, as tears began to follow. "I'm sorry it's late, is Johnny okay, is he? Is he here? I'm so stupid. _Fuck_." She continued, Vanessa began shaking her head slowly. " _Shh_...I'm coming." She began, releasing her clutch of the side of the door and reached for her yellow wellie boots and matching rain coat that was characteristically hung over the banister at the bottom of the stairs. She dressed herself appropriate for the weather, something Charity had failed to do when she left the house earlier, and made her way outside. "Johnny and Tracy are at my dad's." She explained, easing any concern Charity might have about her leaving the house before she could so much as query it.

Charity didn't say a word, she just led her to the bottom of the foot path, right towards the dog that lay in the road. Still. _Lifeless_. As soon as Vanessa managed to get close enough to the dog, she said “That’s your uncle Zak’s dog, isn’t it?” She asked, switching her focus from the dog to Charity’s eyes. They looked so hollow, _she_ looked so empty. All Vanessa wanted to do was hold her, tell her everything would be okay, that she was safe. But – she couldn’t. Charity had made it very clear where she stood, and where she would continue to stand for as long as she smothered Charity. Vanessa, herself, had always been a fixer. She found comfort in bringing it to others.

“Is it? Oh God. They’re going to _hate_ me.” Charity panicked in response to Vanessa’s revelation. She put her hand to her mouth, the rain continuing to fall on her face, it was difficult to tell where the rain stopped and her tears started. She felt comfort in that, she much preferred bottling everything up inside, and she especially couldn’t make herself seem any more vulnerable to Vanessa than she already had done. Not now. Not again.

“He’s… he’s definitely not alive, poor thing.” Vanessa said, checking thoroughly for a pulse before bringing herself from her knees to her feet.

“ _Monty!_ ” A voice in the distance called, repeatedly until it was close enough to identify as Sam’s. He came closer and closer, looking behind bushes, under cars. When he came close enough to recognise Charity and Vanessa by face, under the dim light of Tug Ghyll’s front room light bouncing onto the path before it. “Don’t suppose you’ve seen Zak’s dog have you?” He asked, approaching them with a frown. “He got out the back earlier, the door was on the latch, clever bugger escaped.” He added, shaking his head, catching sight of the figure lay still on the ground before either of the women could explain the situation.

“ _God_ , what happened?” He asked, crouching besides Monty, picking his limp body up from the ground and cradling him.

“I’m sorry.” Charity murmured. “He came out of nowhere.” Charity justified, though she couldn’t be so sure as, unbeknownst to Sam, she hadn’t had her eyes focused on the road in front of her when she caught the dog on the front left wheel.

“This isn’t even your van? What were you doing!? Did you kill him on purpose?” Sam pressed, frowning.

“Of course she didn’t-“ Vanessa began, but was cut off by Charity. “Just take him back to Zak will you.” She said, failing to maintain any steady eye contact with either of them.

Sam didn’t have anything more to say, he hurried off in the direction he had come in, to deliver the news to his father.

The two of them stood, stuck in a contrary limbo between an awkward silence and the comfort of being in one another’s company after what felt like years apart.

“ _Thanks_.” Charity eventually said, breaking the silence between them with a word that held a million unspoken.

“Where _were_ you going?” Vanessa asked. She cared so deeply for the woman that stood before her, she wanted to know everything that was going on inside her mind, no matter how confusing, how painful, how _ugly_. She couldn’t help but realise that was part of her problem, she pushed Charity too far until she couldn’t be pushed any further, so all she could do was push away in return, and that, she did.

“Away from here. I think.” Charity responded, honestly. She wasn’t entirely sure where she intended on ending up, all she wanted was to feel the freedom within that she felt when she was with Vanessa, but she couldn’t bare to drag her down with her. Not anymore. She was searching for a virtue that only Vanessa could bring to her. She knew that, but Charity wasn’t raised to give up. She’d make it work. She looked at the smaller blonde before her, she watched as the raindrops fell onto her cheeks, making them shimmer in the reflective light. “Why didn’t you answer my call?” She asked.

“ _Which_ call?” Vanessa asked, clearly unsure as to which phone call Charity was referring to. “The one where you left the voicemail telling me to block your number… Or the one telling me I was always too dull for you… Or was this another one?” She added, looking towards the ground as she said so.

Charity flinched. “I’m sorry.” Slipped from her mouth. It was so apparent how uneasy it made her when she thought of herself being the one to cause Vanessa any upset.

“You were upset.” Vanessa justified, as she (almost) always managed to.

“So were you.” Charity responded, lifting her chin to catch the familiar blue eyes peering up at her.

“Mm.” Vanessa agreed. “Can’t argue with that.” She said, letting her eyes focus on the emerald ones that glistened above her.

“Why did you stay for so long?” Charity asked, shaking her head slowly. “Why didn’t you take the short cut like everyone else does in the end?” She pressed, a genuine desperation for clarity carrying her tone as she felt her blood run cold, remembering everyone that left before Vanessa. The sudden realisation that Vanessa was the _only_ person that had ever kept true to her word hitting her.

“Because you’re worth it.” Vanessa responded, and the words sounded like music to Charity’s ears. A song she hadn’t heard before, but knew would be her favourite.

Charity shifted in her step, the coldness of the night taking her by surprise as she was plunged into the reality of this moment right here.

“You’re _freezing_.” Vanessa whispered, reaching forward to lend her warm touch to the pale skin that coated Charity.

Charity looked at her, she felt her eyes cloud over again, only this time she knew it wasn’t the alcohol. “Well, I should probably be getting back.” She said, clearing her throat as she pretended to look intently at the watch on her wrist, forgetting that Vanessa knew that watch stopped five years ago, and that Charity had never bothered to change the batteries, resulting in her flashing it just for show.

“Charity…” Vanessa began, running her soft finger tips along Charity’s forearm, grasping at her hand when she reached it. “I told you months ago, it’s okay not to be okay, and I never, _ever_ want you to say you’re okay when you’re not. I’ve been worried sick these past two weeks. It’s been torture leaving you to have your space. I should have called more, I should’ve come over, I-“ She began, but trailed off when she felt Charity release her grip from her hand.

“I never deserved you.” She stated, the feeling of Vanessa’s touch against her skin was _all_ she wanted right now. She couldn’t let her know this, she was okay by herself, she couldn’t be that person that relied on someone else. She’d never been that person, she always got by, no matter what the struggle.

“You deserve what makes you happy.” Vanessa said, softly. The two women stood, silently again. The rain continued to tumble from the sky, drenching the pair of them with no remorse. “Come inside?” She asked.

“Why are you doing this, Ness? Why do you want to hurt yourself? It’s no secret that you’re better off without me, We can’t keep doing this, going round in circles until you give up and-“ Charity began, a somewhat harsh tone to her voice, but no defence mechanism managed to fall through the cracks with Vanessa. She _knows_ Charity – better than anyone.

Vanessa’s eyes widened, allowing herself to intake breath as the rain caressed her rosy cheeks. “ _I love you_.” She announced, saying those three words aloud for the first time in her life with the substance that Charity so very deserved.

Charity blinked. “You… _what_?” She asked, disbelief taking over her as she felt her hands beginning to tingle, her heart race and her breath hitch.

“I said: I love you, _Charity Dingle_.” Vanessa repeated, and as she did, she watched Charity become undone, revelling in the sensation of the moment. For the first time in _her_ life, someone had told her they loved her with such subtle conviction that she had no desire to question it. She fought the whirring thoughts within her mind, reminding her of all the times she had vowed to second guess everything, to debunk every word anyone ever said to her. But Charity pushed them out, she looked at the woman before her, the small, soft, consistent, rational, kind, resilient, selfless, _incredible_ human being that was Vanessa Woodfield. And she loved her. And Charity? She might just believe her.

She let the adrenaline take over and urge her to move forward, lifting her right hand to reach for her lover’s rosy cheek. She pulled her face towards her, connecting their lips with every inch of desire she’d had to swallow for the past few weeks, so consumed by the anger and confusion that had convinced her to push her girlfriend away. The blissful juxtaposition of the rain pouring with the electricity that was sparked between the two of them. A combination taught to be deadly; but Charity and Vanessa defied all odds.

Parting the kiss, she brought her left hand to Vanessa’s other cheek, holding her face whilst she admired it. Every inch of her adored the woman that stood before her. The woman that had challenged her, she had healed her and she _loved_ her… teaching her how to love in the process.

“I love you, too.” Charity whispered, her heart racing as the words escaped her. Something about this lack of control was enticing. Charity had spent her life trying to regain the control she lost in her youth, but in this moment, she realised – she didn’t need to control this. This love was effortless, and so unapologetically theirs.

“Now, will you come home?” Vanessa asked, nodding towards the door marking Tug Ghyll.

…And Charity wanted nothing more than that.


End file.
